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October 22, 2022

Snips and scissors are the tricks of his trade. He knows more than husbands, children, and friends. Mums the word. If someone has a coveted secret, it's safe with him until the next client sits in his chair, that is. It's a symbiotic circle between a hairdresser and a client. The one with the hairdryer starts the chain, the client adds her tidbits, and the hairdresser passes it on with a spin. The client shares that snippet with her circle of friends, and so on and so on. To say "lost in translation" is a gross understatement. No one really knows if it's Patti's daughter or son that had the nose job, or was it Mary Lou's husband with an unexplainable case of the clap, or was her son the one with the scholarship to Yale. Maybe both? It's like a hairdresser's Ponzi scheme.  

The name above the door is Charles Hastings. The Point Loma locale is where he performs his choreographed artistry. His theatrical stage, if you will. 

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A flamboyant queen by birth, this was Charle's theater where the standing ovation was juicy take-home gossip. 

You can spot a celebrity salon from miles away. With valet parking, a champagne bar, and a zen relaxation room, you have the perfect recipe for $500 cuts and $600 Brazilians. 

Laundress Lucca and Charles go way back to his New York days when he managed a Supercuts on Lex. Even though New York is the birthplace of laundry pickup and delivery, in those days, a manager's job included making sure there were plenty of clean towels to dry those mangy manes and scruffy beards. Laundress Lucca was in New York for several months, enrolled in a Medieval Chello intensive at NYU. She was staying in the Cushman's Greenwich Village pre-war place, and Charles lived a lavish life in the apartment next door. They became fast friends as each shared an affection for hot waiters at Spago and couch-chat over Mongolian Beef and Pinot Noir. You see, Charles scored big when his grandmother died, and he inherited her rent-controlled spread. Paying pittance in rent afforded a sumptuous lifestyle on his Supercuts wage. 

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One morning on his way for coffee at Sip, he passed a Tony hair salon on Bleaker with a poster in the window. The prize for the sweepstakes was the opportunity to style Michelle Obama's doo for the upcoming State Dinner with representatives from Laos. As luck would have it, he won. And that, my friends, is how a Supercuts manager became a star of celebrity proportion. And as if that wasn't enough, the Michelle-Obama Pixie went global immediately. Charles hated New York winters, and several of his clients were San Diegans, so the decision to relocate was easy.  

As they recalled the good ole days over fish-n-chips at Point Loma SeafoodCharles boasted about The pick-up and delivery service helps slash his overhead and increase his margins. Now his bowl-boys can spend their time giving head and neck massages instead of folding laundry in the back. "It's a lifesaver for businesses like mine that use fresh towels throughout the day."  

Somewhere between the fried halibut and tartar sauce, up came a burly guy looking sun-kissed, studly, and blonde. His name was Bruce; Bruce Money. Evidently, several years ago, he shared a passionate night with Charles that ended in friendship as he was "officially" straight and on the downlow. Curious... Anyhoo, Laundress Lucca learned that Bruce owned a fishing charter business on Shelter Island. The boat was "Liquid Assets." A 65' Hatteras. It had 8 cabins, several bathrooms, and a grand salon where the catch-of-the-day was served with linens. His boat was the equivalent of high-seas glamping. Unfortunately, most of his time in port was spent in the laundromat washing onboard linen from fish-stained towels to high-count cotton sheets. He needed a break to focus on the important tasks like restocking provisions and getting laid.  

It's unfortunate Laundress Lucca makes no commission because she sealed two deals with Bruce on the spot. The first was for a recurring pick-up and delivery service to occur every three days when "Liquid Assets" is in port. The second was a personal "tour" of the boat and an opportunity to spend some private time with Bruce. The rest is history.  

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